man this train smells, but at least i’ve got a seat.
on a subway going somewhere, and that where is up to me.
the first stop is dunn loring, yes i’m on the orange line,
then you walk into the train… what a coincidence of time.
you always told me things happen for a reason, but after you abandoned me i abandoned your philosophies because they never made sense to me anyway. yet this just seems to fit, us moving together at breakneck speed without a chance to betray the twisted lies we’ve weaved.
so i threw caution to the wind and when i said “hi” i almost screamed, an instant reaction to a situation in which i thought i’d never be. “long time no see.”
“yeah” you shyly said, a broken response to a broken friend.
an awkward silence.
moments become minutes and we still have nothing to say. i mean i have millions of secrets to share, seven thousand sentences wouldn’t be sufficient to spew into this long overdue conversation. but since we split our once united worlds i became someone you never knew.
but i’m conflicted. you see we shared everything when we were together and i’m just not prepared to lose out forever on the chance to see your smile just one more time. i mean hell you didn’t even like me drinking and here i am aching to tell you i’ve become so much worse since our last night, so i’ll hold back even though i know it’s not right in your eyes. history repeats itself and i’d only scare you if you knew how long your picture christened my shelf, your frozen smile watching over me while the days became dreams. i was a symbol of perfection in your eyes. i don’t know how or why but you saw through my self-made disguise and discovered the self that was really mine.
but enough reminiscing. long ago i gave up insisting only having you back would make me happy. this moment is not a remembrance but a reunion, a time to stop trying to rewind and instead go forward as fast as we can bear. this is the time i’ll open up and ask you about your day and your month and your yearning for full-fillment in a half-empty world. i’ll stop wondering if you stopped daydreaming or if you were ever the broken one during our long time apart. i’ll say everything that i’ve wanted to say all this time, the emotions for which i’ve written countless rhymes and i know after we talk i’ll finally be fine!
or i could turn away,
and scrap this broken plan.
and with my drink in hand,
i’ll get up to stand,
and be off to a regular day.