don’t let the ball drop tonight.

don’t let the ball drop on unrealized fantasies and unfantasied realizations. they’re giving birth to a new year while we’re still clutching onto the ears of last’s casket. they’re in a depression but we like zoloft suppressed it.

reality is a mirror and i’m looking through it. my reflection is lost among the blue cloudscape. in a dark brown forest, monkeys have no place to escape. and i can’t climb the trees so i burn the forest down. but i’m down with the fact that the old year is back. because i lack the attention span to count backwards from 10 in spanish. and i know that a year will always have at least one blemish. but until i’m gone from this earth, this year is unfinished.

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break out of the grind you’ve afixed to the ticks of time.

ticking thyme bombs of paprika and lime spice up his life, because when he beats his wife late at night she doesn’t cry anymore. she just watches Time fly by like witches on broomsticks, waiting for the right time to put cyanide in his cake mix. because she’s tired of watching reruns of jeopardy on cable while he’s out drinking to forget he can’t even get cheap thrills. but will his death make her Whole, or drive her deeper into the hole she has no cement to fill?

be still, she pleads, to a motionless heart.

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Steamy

dated: 01/04/09

i emote in cursive
on my shower door
the steam morphs the glass into canvass
as the rain meets the floor
my finger is my pen
my glass is my paper
my contact is my ink
my mind is my mind
don’t mind me
i’m reminding myself of future memories
mindful that
when the rain stops meeting the floor
and the steam flows no more
the ink will melt like a witch in water
and maybe that’s what i want

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ill-usion

Yesterday, I watched evolution from atop a storm cloud, removed from the ground by the winds of meta-linguistics. As I pondered pondering I noticed a human-like steel figure lying on the dampened soil. He watched passer-bys with the judgmental eyes of one who knows no emotion. They were drawn to him and so he drew them solutions to their problems in paint and passion. They walked away satisfied. He sighs, blinks static thoughts of in-decisions lost and won, recycled in green plastic bins and resold to the neuron earth they grew up in. Choices are TEC-9 year old girls holding metallic jump ropes and he’s waltzing in place to their silent rhythm. I am his thoughts. He does not feel, knowing only the logic of how emotion ought to be. I am enamored, knowing only I can witness such a scene from the storm’s eye. Eyes locked between barren earth and flooded dirt cannot see the whole picture-esque beauty of machine becoming man becoming machine.

I have yet to fall.

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jihad.

dated 02/08/09

i am a homeless man
sitting in the sands of anbar
Continuing my unarmed jihad,
my soul unharmed by the shrapnel
from the IED that ruptured me.

my slowly pumping heart:
physically torn by what the bomb borne,
emotionally sedated by what the collation desecrated.

the buddha’s tree is near
but i have yet to reach nirvana
a roadside bomb was left unplugged
and it smelled like unclean spirit
of the teen soldiers firing AKs in the marketplace,
their amazing race to find a spring flower in bloom.

the sun glaces off the sand,
the wind swirls
high with hazel haze. the purple is diffused,
excused as it kissed the sky with a silent war cry.

I submitted my alibi on time,
but was guilty before the trial.

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walking through the sunrisen flames.

we watch the seas spin in shifts.
the cosmoses are aligned with our minds.
we bring time to the table,
tables stained with the sins of our foremothers.
our brothers are broken like recalled toys for our children.
so we sit in chairs designed for the blind.
because we cannot see the crimes we have committed.
we rise to the occasion and fall with the seasons.
the fall is subsumed by springtime suns
as our sons are sent to wars we’ll never witness,
seen only through the bombs planted in marquees, streets and mountaintops,
the banks and civic centers. and we’re never to question the
ellipses granted to our lovers by the forces we cannot speak of.
linguists are crying in unison because we can’t see the
dilemma we bring ourselves toward in this moonlight:
we are the angels, but our actions are demonic.

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a swan song

microcosms of the divine walk down the sidewalks of our minds,
as human souls like you or i.
their eyes are cast down,
avoiding the stares of beggars ringing hopeful bells.
the streets are lined with ash and debris,
cast off as the slums of mankind.

RJ tips his cap to the doorman,
throws a quarter in his jar and enters the funeral.

he’s late.

the speakers are playing a recording of Taps,
because the family couldn’t afford to hire drummers.
we broke the doors down
and stole the flowers from the casket.
we needed them to please the goddess.

she smiled.
the sun rose.

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Words to Live By

Talk to strangers! When family fails and friends lead you astray.
When Buddha laughs and Jesus weeps and turns out God is gay.
‘Cause angels and messiahs, love, can come in many forms.
In the hallways of your projects or the fat girl in your dorm.
And when you finally take the time to see what they’re about,
Perhaps you find them lonely, or their wisdom trips you out.

Maybe you’ll find when cycles end, you’re back where you began.
But come this time around, you’ll have someone to hold your hand.
Who prays for you, who’s there for you, who sends you love and light.
Exposes you to parts of you that you once tried to fight.
And come this time around, you’ll choose to walk a different path.
You’ll embrace what you turned away and cry at what you laughed.
‘Cause that’s the only way we’re gonna make it through this storm,
Where ignorance is common sense and senselessness the norm.

– Saul Williams

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may i hold you close, friend,

and feel the soft touch of your breath on my heart?
for i’ve missed the sweet smell of a friend so near.
read my thoughts through these lips,
but don’t get too still.
because babe, these fingertips cause acid trips,
if you leave your whims outside.
don’t mind if read your mind.
i’m just trying to secure salvation.
stop me in my tracks like a ship at anchor.
bring me out to sea.
this is my hypothetical.

happy national poetry day (UK).

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15 random things to do in a college lecture class*

Bored of the balding guy in the from of the room make bad jokes about mitochondrial DNA? Try these tips for spicing up your time in the lecture hall.

1. Google pictures of pandas with flamethrowers.
2. Watch some prepubescent kid do Awesome Tricks With A Zippo.”
3.  Watch porn (no links to this one, sorry… I think you just might be able to find it on your own).
4. Make a Big Mac from scratch.
5. Read random pages on Wikipedia [hit alt-shift-x]. (Hey, did you know that the Langlands program is a web of far-reaching and influential conjectures that connect number theory and the representation theory of certain groups?)
6. Make porn.
7. Buy random things on the cheap.
8. Form a Marxist paramilitary group. (“Subsequently, get arrested” can fall under this category too.)
9. Make pointless arguments with people on the Internet.
10. Write reviews of porn.
11. Watch Russian women kick the **** out of each other after a sporting event.
12.  Translate random text into various languages.
13. Watch that Duke Nukem Forever trailer from 2001… and wonder what could have been.
14.  Read steamy text-based lawyer porn.
15. Write pointless blog posts that no one will read anyway.

*excluding, of course, actually listening to the class.

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